A Sunday With My Asians

May 8th, 2017

Yes, there are two of them. I have my husband, His Majesty, and Little Brother. Both are overwhelmingly Chinese as I have had proven to me time and time again. I used to think it a slightly romantic gesture when I’d get to the airport a little early to pick His Majesty up when he’d fly in for a weekend, wait for him (back when you could wait at the gate), and be there smiling when he’d get off the plane. Oh, no. He’d take one look at me and start with “Why didn’t you wait in the car? Parking costs money. Now I’m going to have to get into a (warm or cold) car when it’s (hot or freezing) outside. Think it through next time, would you?”
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Three To Eighteen Months

May 1st, 2017

A neighbor who lived next door to my parents used to babysit me from time to time while I was growing up. Not recently, obviously. Her name was Gladys, and she was originally from England. I adored her, and when I got older, we watched every horror movie we could get our hands on. Sometime after I graduated from college—she moved up north to live with her daughter—I called her up and she dropped the bomb “Oh, I’ve got cancer.” Gladys lived a couple of months longer, and then she was gone. We were supposed to travel to London together, but never did.
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The Awakening Blog Tour: You Should Be In Pictures (JP Adkins)

April 26th, 2017

Once in a blue moon–not the Blue Moon ale G.A. Hauser taught me how to drink with a slice of orange–I’m asked to either contribute a blog post or host a blog post. And by once in a full moon, I mean maybe once every couple of years. People must be afraid of me. They have to be. Fear is the only thing that makes sense because, darn it, I think I’m pretty amusing. Obviously, I hold the minority opinion. Rationally irrational fear aside, I’m turning today over to Kurt Russell, who I’m having lunch with. No, seriously. I’m having lunch with him. In my mind. JP Adkins will be taking over whilst I have a salad. Jeff–or Mr. Adkins as he makes me call him in public…and private–is celebrating his release. Not his first release either mind you. There are stories about those releases. And witnesses. But it is his first book release. So, take it away Je…er…Mr. Adkins!

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The Real TMI

April 24th, 2017

Little Brother has been lecturing me on and off for a couple of years about how much I share on social media. His biggest complaint comes in the form of a question: “What do I know about you that isn’t on Facebook?” And his second biggest complaint is “Why do I have to read about something that happened to you on Facebook first? Why can’t I hear about it from you BEFORE you post on social media?” Honestly, there are times I think he wants me to tell him something that happened before it even happens to me. His first and second complaints are typically followed by “And why do you have to post it at all? TMI!”
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TMI: The Star Wars Celebration Orlando Trip (Part 2)

April 19th, 2017

We last left our heroes in Orlando on a Friday afternoon on Holy Shit Day as the Star Wars Celebration convention kicked into high gear! And they got the heck outta there.

LB and I headed out right after, grabbed some Red Lobster for lunch, and I was informed I’d agreed to attend a Cirque show at Downtown Disney in the early evening. And so I did. Agree, that is. By default. We decided to take a swim first, and enjoyed a refreshing dip before heading to La Nouba. La Nouba is the third show I’ve seen (all with LB) and was very enjoyable. It’s not my favorite of them, but still worth watching despite three very evident goofs during the show. We weren’t sure what was going on, but some of the performers just didn’t have it together. The ones who did, though, totally made the experience! LB snagged excellent seats to boot. Good popcorn too.
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TMI: The Star Wars Celebration Orlando Trip (Part 1)

April 18th, 2017

I promised my brother-in-law I wouldn’t blog about his not inviting me to his bachelor party, so, as you can see, I’m totally keeping that promise! Now, on to today’s post.

Ever have someone read your blog posts (or your emails if you don’t have a blog) and give you feedback before you post or send them? Welcome to my life with Little Brother. I’ve been put on notice regarding my recent blog posts for telling folks about the aging process, about ear or nose hair, etc., and informed those subjects are considered by the New York Asian contingent to be TMI. Mind you, this memo comes from someone who leaves (censored) on a fellow co-worker’s keyboard and then allows the blame to be placed on another co-worker. Or for 12 years never telling his husband he doesn’t use (censored). Oh, yes. And he gives me grief! So I present you with a look back at the previous weekend in proper TMI form!
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A Senile Deity With Bad Aim Sends Hair To Wrong Places

April 10th, 2017

I distinctly remember starting college and listening to many of the guys on my dorm floor talking about their weekend conquests. And for once, these people weren’t making it up. They really were doing the deed, and a couple of them mentioned how the girls loved their chest hair. I didn’t have any. None. Zip. Zilch. I didn’t have any girls either, which I’m totally fine with, but I wanted chest hair. I probably went to bed for the next 3 years each night putting a word in with a higher power to grant me chest hair. That’s how much I wanted some.
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Swimming With Turtles: Trip To Saint Thomas and San Juan

April 3rd, 2017

Do you ever get into a funk and not realize you’re in one? Michigan is a beautiful place to live—and I expect I’ll die here someday—but we have some long ass winters. It didn’t occur to me how much of a toll the 20 and 30-degree weather we’ve been having for MONTHS now was getting me down. Cue my hubby calling and suggesting I fly down to see him in Saint Thomas for a couple of days. This would be my second visit in 6 years.
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The Hollywood Science Ninja Team From Corporate Hell!

March 27th, 2017

What do you say we have a little fun with today’s post? It’s been nothing but serious serious serious in the news lately, and politics politics politics. The serious politics bit is why I’ve gone down to blogging one day a week. Everyone, including myself, is so paranoid about what’s going on in Washington, we’re not reading much for pleasure. Even I have the “Oh, Christ, what’s he done now???” mentality. So, what could we do today to lighten the mood? I have an idea.
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Earning An Honorary New Title

March 20th, 2017

Little Brother Eddie flew in this past weekend for reasons I cannot divulge, except to say it had something to do with the upcoming book. In any case, he had one request: “I want to go to Frankenmuth.” I asked why. “I want to go get noodles from the restaurant we ate at last time, and I want to stop off at the outlet mall.” I asked why. “Because I like the noodles.” I didn’t mean that part of the reason. “Oh, I want to shop for some clothes for my niece and nephew.”
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