Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

A Sunday With My Asians

Monday, May 8th, 2017

Yes, there are two of them. I have my husband, His Majesty, and Little Brother. Both are overwhelmingly Chinese as I have had proven to me time and time again. I used to think it a slightly romantic gesture when I’d get to the airport a little early to pick His Majesty up when he’d fly in for a weekend, wait for him (back when you could wait at the gate), and be there smiling when he’d get off the plane. Oh, no. He’d take one look at me and start with “Why didn’t you wait in the car? Parking costs money. Now I’m going to have to get into a (warm or cold) car when it’s (hot or freezing) outside. Think it through next time, would you?”

Three To Eighteen Months

Monday, May 1st, 2017

A neighbor who lived next door to my parents used to babysit me from time to time while I was growing up. Not recently, obviously. Her name was Gladys, and she was originally from England. I adored her, and when I got older, we watched every horror movie we could get our hands on. Sometime after I graduated from college—she moved up north to live with her daughter—I called her up and she dropped the bomb “Oh, I’ve got cancer.” Gladys lived a couple of months longer, and then she was gone. We were supposed to travel to London together, but never did.

The Real TMI

Monday, April 24th, 2017

Little Brother has been lecturing me on and off for a couple of years about how much I share on social media. His biggest complaint comes in the form of a question: “What do I know about you that isn’t on Facebook?” And his second biggest complaint is “Why do I have to read about something that happened to you on Facebook first? Why can’t I hear about it from you BEFORE you post on social media?” Honestly, there are times I think he wants me to tell him something that happened before it even happens to me. His first and second complaints are typically followed by “And why do you have to post it at all? TMI!”

A Senile Deity With Bad Aim Sends Hair To Wrong Places

Monday, April 10th, 2017

I distinctly remember starting college and listening to many of the guys on my dorm floor talking about their weekend conquests. And for once, these people weren’t making it up. They really were doing the deed, and a couple of them mentioned how the girls loved their chest hair. I didn’t have any. None. Zip. Zilch. I didn’t have any girls either, which I’m totally fine with, but I wanted chest hair. I probably went to bed for the next 3 years each night putting a word in with a higher power to grant me chest hair. That’s how much I wanted some.

The Hollywood Science Ninja Team From Corporate Hell!

Monday, March 27th, 2017

What do you say we have a little fun with today’s post? It’s been nothing but serious serious serious in the news lately, and politics politics politics. The serious politics bit is why I’ve gone down to blogging one day a week. Everyone, including myself, is so paranoid about what’s going on in Washington, we’re not reading much for pleasure. Even I have the “Oh, Christ, what’s he done now???” mentality. So, what could we do today to lighten the mood? I have an idea.

Earning An Honorary New Title

Monday, March 20th, 2017

Little Brother Eddie flew in this past weekend for reasons I cannot divulge, except to say it had something to do with the upcoming book. In any case, he had one request: “I want to go to Frankenmuth.” I asked why. “I want to go get noodles from the restaurant we ate at last time, and I want to stop off at the outlet mall.” I asked why. “Because I like the noodles.” I didn’t mean that part of the reason. “Oh, I want to shop for some clothes for my niece and nephew.”

Phantasm Wind Storm And The Victorinox Maneuver

Monday, March 13th, 2017

Those of us in Michigan found ourselves treated to a wind storm last week that nearly gave the film Twister a run for its money. No, we didn’t have funnels—or funnel cakes, which would have been preferable because they’re delicious with a little powdered sugar—but we did have 16 hours of constant wind that tended to gust between 40 and 60mph. Yes, 16 hours of it. I believe estimates were mentioned at 1 million folks being left without power. Even now as I write this, Sunday evening, there are still many folks whose houses remain without power.

Trying To Kick That Depressed Feeling

Monday, February 20th, 2017

I spent this past weekend in New York City. It seems when I’ve reached a certain point in dealing with things, when I just can’t clear my head, I book a flight to NYC. It’s a bit like the ultimate comfort food. Now, I’m sure New York has its share or problems—the place scared me to no end the first couple of times I visited—but I’ve been pretty sheltered by them. And when I need her, she welcomes me with open arms.

Has Anybody Been To A Movie Lately?

Monday, February 13th, 2017

I know. I know. I’m about to do that thing again where I’m bemoaning that something’s changed, and it’s not like it used to be. But, seriously! Come on. Have you been to a movie theater lately? And I’ll be honest, I don’t have the fondest memories of the theater experience itself while growing up. The movies? Yes! The theaters? No.

A Failure To Grasp Our Current Leadership

Thursday, February 9th, 2017

It’s not a good way to start each day feeling like you should be apologizing to the world for who’s now leading your country. I don’t like the man, personally or professionally, but I haven’t called him a name since he took office. And I’m going to try my best not to. It bothered me to no end when Obama took office to see the complete lack of respect from the opposing party. Then, two years into office, we heard Mitch McConnell utter this little gem: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” Now that leadership has flipped, the Democrats are being asked to be respectful.