Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Holidays

Monday, November 26th, 2018

I’m familiar with friends who suffer from depression during the holidays. I’ve been lucky, though, not to be one of them. Holidays and birthdays have always been something my family has celebrated with…well, vigor. I have incredible memories of Grandma cooking, or trips out to Sutherlands Fish & Chips (or Highlands Fish & Chips) back in the day. Family dysfunction be damned. We still celebrated and the gifts were like magic.
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The Brave Face

Monday, November 5th, 2018

My best friend from college and his wife stayed overnight this past weekend. Ralph was home too, which made it even better. The company was greatly appreciated. It’s easier to entertain and be entertaining than deal with the silence and solitude. Good grief…having the dog around is even helpful. A moment happened Sunday afternoon after my friends left and Ralph was getting to leave. He gave me a hug and I remember opening my mouth and just…letting words fall out I’d been thinking the past three weeks.
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In Memory Of Kathy Gair (1950-2018)

Saturday, October 20th, 2018

Mom was always afraid of what I’d write about her one day. I tend to be a bit satirical at times because point of view is everything and I prefer to laugh whenever I can. However, there are times I’m a bit more introspective.
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Mom’s Passing & The Last 6 Months

Saturday, October 13th, 2018

I received an e-mail at 3:09p.m. on May 21st, 2018 from my mother:

“Something is wrong with me–I need to go to the clinic to get checked out please. I don’t want to alarm Gram.”
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The Baggage We Carry

Monday, July 16th, 2018

I had a chat with a couple friends this past Friday. One was celebrating her birthday and suddenly became quite emotional. Not necessarily in the good way, but a kind of “I need to get this off my chest” kind of way. This friend is absolutely lovely. She just has some baggage from her youth that tends to rear its ugly head from time to time. Friday was one of those times. Then the other friend we were with shared a few things about her childhood, and the scars those memories left.

Seems like we all have baggage.
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Aftermath

Monday, June 4th, 2018

I wasn’t at the hospital when my father-in-law passed away. I’d come down with the start of a cold the day before, and I didn’t want to risk making him any sicker than he was. He passed away the first night his two sons stayed with him for a 24 hour period. I also wasn’t there when my father passed. We thought it would take a week minimum before his body gave out. I left around 10p.m. and he passed around 3:15a.m. the next morning. I’ve regretted not being there when these two people left us. So when my grandmother’s future looked bleak and I was with her and other family members in the hospital last week, I was bound and determined to see this through.
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My Mother and My Grandmother

Wednesday, May 30th, 2018

“The seasons come and go again,
And what was old is new again,
They say you’re over times have changed…the end…
But there’s no end to this story”
(Kim Wilde, Pop Don’t Stop)

Mom did something very odd last week. She sent me an e-mail with the subject “I might need some help”. I thought, okay, she goofed something on the computer. I’ll stop by after work and sort it out. Then I read the message; “Something is wrong with me.” She didn’t want to alarm my grandmother, so she e-mailed. I called my boss, left a minute or two later, and called her. There was something not quite right with her speech. I called Ralph, told him what was going on, and he called mom. He ended up calling her an ambulance.
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Your Father….

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2018

“You’re father….”

I get a sick feeling in my stomach to this day when I read those words. Two words shouldn’t do that, should they? But it’s all about context, especially in this case. And for some reason, the words were seriously bothering me this past Sunday night. I’ve met some colorful people over the years, many of who I continue to be in contact with. Others? No. I’d also asked many of them to contribute to the Face of Gay blog series back in 2012 and 2013, including the person who said the aforementioned words.
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Chasing Shadows

Sunday, April 29th, 2018

“Nothing’s the same anymore.” (Commander Jeffrey Sinclair, Babylon 5)

And he’s correct. I don’t mind change. You’re thinking I’m lying, right? Well, the truth is I don’t mind change as long as things stay somewhat the same. For instance? I miss the way Twinkies taste. They were softer and full of flavor as a child. Fewer preservatives, I think, and a much shorter shelf life. Going to see a movie was different then too. You waited in long lines to be packed into dozens of rows with no stadium seats, hoping nobody tall or with big hair sat in front of you. Movie theaters were gold mines then.
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When It Finally Feels Real

Saturday, April 14th, 2018

A friend of ours who Ralph used to live with while he worked in Chicago many years back passed away a week ago. This came as somewhat unexpected news because while Marianne had several things going wrong with her, she always rallied. Always. Kinda of like a cat with 9 lives, plus a few extra. She’d gone in for surgery last November or December, ended up on a ventilator—shades of what happened to author Dorien Grey—and had a number of ups and downs while in the hospital and rehab ever since.

Then Ralph and I got the text last weekend. Marianne had passed.
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