Archive for October, 2016|Monthly archive page

These Are The Voyages Of The USS Grandmonster

Monday, October 31st, 2016

The designation NCC-1701 is common knowledge, isn’t it? Ah, and what a beautiful ship she is, especially the A version. But have you heard of the EVIL-666. It’s a kind of anti-sister ship, and her captain is my husband’s Grandmonster. She’s one tough cookie, let me tell you. And just when you think she hasn’t seen or heard something, she surprises you. Well, she surprises me. If this was ever filmed, it would definitely be sitcom material, only nobody would ever believe it was based on true events.

Three Things…Including The Grandmonster’s Arrival

Thursday, October 27th, 2016

Okay, I DID finish cleaning the house and got it in impeccable order. This is one of the few times I’ll give myself a pat on the back for making the place look really good. The hubby sorted and gutted all the crap that had been sitting out for three years I couldn’t do anything with (because it was his), and then I did the 6-day deep clean. 6 friggin’ days. Finally, before I picked him, the Grandmonster, and my mother-in-law up Tuesday evening, I sat down for the first time in weeks and watched a movie; Phantasm: Ravager.

Honey Do

Monday, October 24th, 2016

I am a HUGE fan of honeydew melons. Love em’! The honey do list? Not so much. I don’t think there is a heterosexual or homosexual man person alive who looks forward to this crap. Women like them, I believe, since they’re the ones who created them. Men? Not so much. And I don’t know where my husband learned to embrace them—if it was from his mother or Grandmonster—but he left me a doozy last week before he left to collect the Evil One that I’m still working on.

Who Needs Halloween When You Have This Going On?

Friday, October 21st, 2016

My grandmother is a spitfire at the age of 86. She still lives independently, still drives, has survived 3 husbands, still cooks, and has grown weary of keeping her opinions to herself. There’s some positive and not-so-positive elements to all of those, the not-so-positive being the bit about still living independently. Fortunately, Grandma is looking at moving into a senior complex in the next couple of months because she knows it’s a good idea, and we’ll all feel more secure. The only time I’ve seen her rattled recently, though, has been when she went in for surgery and things didn’t go according to plan.

Results of Mentally Dissecting the Asian and Gweilo Brain

Monday, October 17th, 2016

My husband and I used to have really cute little huggalicious nicknames for each other during the first couple of years we were going out…like Pookie or Luv Muffin. Those have changed over the years as we’ve grown together and mentally dissected each other’s brain. I now call him “my little basket of black widow spiders,” or “my nest of vipers,” “my Khan,” or “His Majesty”, while his favorite nickname for me is “What is wrong with you?”.

Despite The Odds, I Was Right!

Thursday, October 13th, 2016

Have you ever noticed that it was more important to be right when you were younger than when you’re older? When you were young, you could get away with saying “No, it’s THIS way!” or “You’re an Ediot!” with impunity. By the way, I coined the term “Ediot” to describe the goofy ass things my Undersexed Brother-in-Law does…because his name is Eddie, and because he does some goofy ass things. But older? Saying things like “I think it’s a tumor,” or “You should have that checked out because I think it’s fatal” are things we don’t want to say and be right about.

Oops, His Majesty Did It Again…

Tuesday, October 11th, 2016

So His Majesty flew back last Wednesday evening. We spent Thursday running some errands, packing, and then we were off Friday up north to shut down the summer residence. Entertainment there is a bit sparse, so we try to liven things up when and where we can. For instance, I didn’t hook the propane tanks up when we arrived since we have a plug-in burner we can use for cooking. Little did either of us know that the furnace also ran on propane. This means that when the outside temperature went from 76 degrees to 42, we were going to spend more time holding each other than either of us admits to the public…or to each other.

One Of These Days, And Selfies

Thursday, October 6th, 2016

A friend of mine in college loaned me a Pink Floyd CD to listen to—A Collection of Great Dance Songs—and I immediately fell in love with the track One Of These Days. I’ve been listening and writing to this song for years. The weird thing is I’d never been able to decipher the garbled bit of dialogue at the end, and I never bothered to look it up. Well, I did two days ago, and do you know what it says? It says “One of these days, I’m going to cut you up into little pieces.” It occurred to me, because of my enjoyment of the song for so long, that I might be a sociopath.

Grandmaphobia Sabbatical

Monday, October 3rd, 2016

One thing I will never be able to fault my husband for is that he’s a damn hard worker. His father was too, and both have done whatever they’ve had to in order to provide for the family. This doesn’t mean my husband doesn’t have quirks. He does. Got an early morning meeting you need him at, or an early flight he needs to be on? You’ll hear him running out of the house shouting “Oh, shit! Oh, shit!” 5 minutes before he’s supposed to be there. But in terms of working hard, he’s done more than I have.