Archive for February, 2014|Monthly archive page

Blaming God

Thursday, February 27th, 2014

I don’t often talk about my mother other than to say how much I admire what she’s given up in terms of a life to become the primary caregiver for my father. Dealing with Alzheimer’s ain’t easy. Not by any stretch of the imagination is it easy. My parents had dreams they wanted to pursue once my father retired. There were places to go, friends to visit, a new place to build, and a life without workplace stress to experience. Those dreams are gone. Life as she knew it is gone. Well, changed. Mom is also a self-professed survivor of Catholic school during a time in which God was shoved down students’ throats and nuns would be sued for their methods of discipline if they still used them today. It left a proverbial bad taste in mom’s mouth. It also colored her perception of religion in general, which I didn’t fully realize until she said something to me during a phone conversation the other night.

“I blame God every day for what’s happening to your father. How can any merciful God do this to someone and their family?”

A Few Differences We Noticed Between the US and the UK

Monday, February 24th, 2014

I know most of you prefer to read me describing my husband’s pouty lips, smooth tasty skin, delightful buns, quivering loins, adorably seductive smile he gives me before he says something devastatingly sarcastic, and his incredible fashion sense—especially when it comes to exotic underwear—only I thought we’d take a short break from that today. Believe me, there’s plenty of the aforementioned good stuff to go around in future posts. I’ve simply felt inspired since going to London with him to point out some of the differences we noticed between here in the US and over there. Some of it was pretty astounding and I’m seriously wondering how it is we, as Americans, have become so jaded.

London/Dublin 2013 (or How To Travel With Your Asian Husband) Part 2

Thursday, February 20th, 2014

One of the contributing factors that helps us enjoy where we travel is the vibe of a place. Home has a special vibe as do our surrounding areas. New York City? It has a vibe of familiarity to me now and I enjoy the place. It also helps I know where the heck I am based on the street name system. West 38th and 7th? Bon Chon Korean fried chicken, baby! Hong Kong? I stick out like a sore thumb, but the place doesn’t scare me like it used to. It’s familiar now. London? Familiar-ish. Dublin? The place made me uneasy. I’m not fond of uneasy. Being uneasy makes me…more uneasy. But that’s how I arrived with Honorable Husband after getting a look around the place. I wasn’t sure why. Call it a vibe.

London/Dublin 2013 (or How To Travel With Your Asian Husband) Part 1

Monday, February 17th, 2014

Vacations are a rarity for Honorable Husband and I, especially ones we take together. He travels for work and I travel to do book signings or to attend conventions. Much of the time we do spend together during trips like these is honestly snuck in when and where we can. So when my little brother found a deal to Dublin—that’s how these trips always start, with a Chinese husband or Chinese brother who finds something really inexpensive—he told my hubby about it. Hubby told me about it. It got booked. It’s presented to the white husbands (little brother is married to a gweilo, too) as a vacation. It’s really a cleverly disguised mileage run to help maintain status with an airline. The gweilos don’t mind because we get to go places and we don’t have to plan shit!


The Face of Gay 50 (Debora Iyall of Romeo Void)

Saturday, February 15th, 2014

I grew up a huge fan of music. My radio was almost always on and the groups I enjoyed listening to inspired my creativity. It was a different time then and we didn’t have access to the bands and the individual people in them like we do today. Social media changed this. Now, while I knew the music of Romeo Void, my only real idea of who the band members were came mostly from an episode of VH1 Bands Reunited. It’s not the best way to get a feel for someone, but I remember watching and being absolutely enchanted by the genuine nature of lead singer Debora Iyall.

Flash forward to several months ago at Palm Springs Pride and I got my first opportunity to see Debora sing live. She was just as genuine and incredible! And, considering the venue, I thought she might have a story she’d be willing to share with all of you. Debora agreed. So, for our 50th post, I give you Debora Iyall and her Face of Gay.

A Little Pre-Show Write on the Edge Q&A on the Menu?

Thursday, February 13th, 2014

Are you ready to have a little fun this fine, chilly February Thursday? Good. Me, too. And by fun, I mean get into a little trouble. I’m a guest on a Blog Talk Radio show this evening called Write on the Edge at 11 p.m. EST. It’s an adult-oriented, edgy spotlight on GLBT lit and authors, the perfect opportunity to spend a little time with someone snarky like yours truly and host Vicktor Alexander. I’m hoping, jet lag aside, that I’ll be in somewhat rare form. It could happen. Will I be humble? Will I be biting? Will I just be me? No matter what, I’m pretty sure it’ll be purely entertaining. So, rather than tell you the kinds of questions I’ll be asked tonight (they sent me a list to choose from), I figure I’ll take you through some of the questions I won’t be answering.

Ready… Set… Go!

What Exactly Would I Do Different If We Had A Child?

Monday, February 10th, 2014

I think I mentioned that we’ve been entertaining the idea of whether not we should entertain the idea of entertaining the idea of looking into adoption. It’s been very entertaining to a point. Honestly, I’d prefer one that’s beyond the night feedings and just past the terrible 2s. Let’s have the rough stuff out of the way and get to the fun part of childhood. Well, the fun part for us. The child would definitely be along for the ride and we’d make it worth his while. Yes, it would be a boy. I like women just fine, but little girls are just attitudes on feet. Sooooo not dealing with that. Ironically, when we adopt a dog, we’re getting a female. Why? Males hump everything in sight. Not interested. But, back to the adoption thing. The idea got me wondering what I’d try to do different with this child than my parents did with me or what Honorable Husband’s parents did with him.

More People Have To Cheat, Die & Mount Me

Thursday, February 6th, 2014

Seriously. That’s how I’m going to grow my blog audience. And it was bound to happen. There’s no way I wasn’t going to go and look back at what blog posts got the most hits in 2013. The sad thing is that two of them were from previous years! I had no idea I was that incapable of entertaining an audience with current posts. Oy vey. Was the blog post where I bluntly listed a huge number of my personal beliefs of any interest? Apparently not so. Any posts where I listed my hopes, dreams, fears and aspirations? Nope. Didn’t rank for crap. Instead, we have these.

Spy Vs. Spy…Or Husband Vs. Husband?

Monday, February 3rd, 2014

I think the two spies in Spy Vs. Spy would eventually fall in love if they weren’t already. Sure, they were setting traps for each other. That’s called foreplay. And yes, they were trying to take each other out, but that’s only so it wouldn’t be a conflict of interest when they did start to take each other out…dating. The two were differentiated from each other by color, black and white. Not so in our household. No, sir. It’s east meets west here, the dark hair versus the former towhead blond, the man with the wicked tongue versus the man with the wicked sense of snark. Best of all, we’re married.

The Face of Gay 49 (Vandy Beth Glenn)

Saturday, February 1st, 2014

I attended OutlantaCon in 2013 a bit more confident in terms of being a guest. A co-panelist didn’t show for our Social Media panel and I found myself staring at a small group of folks who’d wandered in. One person staring back up at me, yet remaining very quiet, was Vandy Beth Glenn. I didn’t know her, but because she was so quiet, I was bound and determined to make her talk. I did and I’ve been learning from her ever since.

Vandy has a very informed way of looking at things and a very practical, very relatable way of explaining it to you. She’s done it again here. Welcome to Vandy Beth Glenn’s Face of Gay.