The Face of Gay 16 (Adriana D’Apolito)


We’ve all heard and read the horror stories associated with someone coming out to their family. Rarely is it a Hallmark moment and some families just couldn’t exist without drama. I know. My extended family can be like that at times. Half acts like white trash and the other is just nuts. It’s truly amazing I wound up as saintly and well-balanced as I did. That better not be chuckling I hear…

But what do you do when you’re straight, a friend and supporter of the GLBT community, and involved in beta reading and reviewing erotica because you enjoy it? Where exactly is the problem with that? Do you see one? I don’t. Adriana didn’t. But somebody did and it just so happens to be the focus in today’s Face of Gay post.

The Face of Gay 16 (Adriana D’Apolito)

Well for starters my name is Adriana D’Apolito and I like to think of myself as a pretty ordinary person. I’m a 41 year old wife, mother, and Nanny for the past 23 years. For the past 2 & 1/2 years I have been what I like to call an Erotica beta reader/ reviewer to the stars. I come from an Italian family that is very close and always there for each other. We stand by family above all else. So when my older sister (there is a 14 year age gap) called me and asked me to join Facebook so we could keep in touch better, I said sure. Little did she know she would change my life as I knew it up until that point.

I have always read it’s like a addiction. I read on average 2-3, sometimes 4, books a day and mostly M/M Erotica. I am a huge fan and a proud advocate for equal rights in the LGBT community. So when I started on my Facebook journey, I was thrilled to see all the different groups I could join that would allow me a chance to voice my opinions with little to no censorship.

I consider–like most people I think do–that my Facebook page is a reflection of what I’m thinking, doing and feeling on a day to day basis. That being said, on any given day on my page, you will find pictures of my dog, jokes and/or causes from my friends (Facebook and non-Facebook alike) and usually 3-4 posts a day advocating Gay rights. This, my friends, is where I learned that, yes, the saying is true; “it really doesn’t matter if you have a pretty face if you have an ugly heart.”

You see, it was right after putting up one such post that I received a call from my brother screaming at me saying I was “sick and perverted,” “that enough was enough with the gay rights crap.” He then proceeded to tell me that my Aunt and cousin who I’ve always been close to have recently unfriended me saying I was “distasteful,vulgar and inappropriate.” I have to say I was floored. I had no idea my family felt this way. Then to further muddy the waters, my brother told me I’d better not let our other brother find out about my posts as he will be furious (the would-be furious brother just got married to a wonderful lady with 2 lesbian cousins who attended with their dates to the wedding).

I honestly don’t know what to say about all of this as far as a relationship in the future with my family at this point. If there even will be one. I’m just glad that my mom’s memory is so far gone she wont remember seeing her family implode. You see, I don’t understand why gays, lesbians and the like have to fight for equality in the first place. I don’t even understand why we need gay, lesbian, heterosexual labels. Why can’t we just be people? Why can’t we all just have the same rights?

I know that if my son who turns 17 next week were to come to me tomorrow and say “mom, I’m gay,” my first reaction would not be to shun him and call him names as my family called me, but to embrace him and tell him I’m there for him 110%. And i will continue posting everything I do on Facebook because I truly feel with everything I am, why does it matter so much what gender a man or woman chooses to love? Shouldn’t the important thing be that they found love at all in a world so filled with hate and prejudice?

The Previous 5 entries in the Face of Gay Series:

The Face of Gay 11 (Rob)
The Face of Gay 12 (Dorien Grey)
The Face of Gay 13 (amy with a lower case /a/)
The Face of Gay 14 (David)
The Face of Gay 15 (Kharisma Rhayne)

Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the novella Falling Awake (also to be re-published under his real name), and the upcoming Falling Awake II: Revenant.

One Response to “The Face of Gay 16 (Adriana D’Apolito)”

  1. Vincent Ravencroft says:

    Has it gotten any better between you and your family, since your writing this post nearly 6years ago, Adriana?

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