Original Publication Date: 1/27/09
Kage’s Vacation Log Date 1/27/09
“Hot patootie, bless my soul, I really love that rock ‘n’ roll!”
I’ve always loved that song, only I never knew what a “patootie” was until I froze both of mine off last night. Pookie gave up his room for me and in doing so, decided to express how much enjoyment he was about to have staying in the guest room bed by leaving me with very few sheets in 39 degree weather in a flat that doesn’t have heat. The guest bed is many feet up in the air, has its own staircase and quite close to the ceiling. I offered to use it, but then came the smartass little comment “How much do you weigh?”
180 pounds will, in his mind, apparently cause the immanent collapse of said elevated bed. This thought also caused him no end of giggling and he even questioned my answer of 180 pounds to further his own self-amusement. It was only when I suggested I was tall enough to jump up and grab a hold of the side of the bed when he was in it and test its durability that he sobered up. Which only points to the fact he really does believe I weigh more than 180 pounds. The goddamn phaser is still charging. Lucky for him.
And yes, I lost a day coming here (I missed the 26th), but I’ll gain a day coming back.
So, first night and day in Hong Kong. What’s the routine? I managed to snag about 7 hours of sleep and awoke to the sound of grinding and polishing as the Grandmonster sharpened and flossed her fangs. We had a small breakfast, got dressed and were off to do that thing people travel thousands of miles to do in a foreign country; shop.
Seriously, what is up with Hello Kitty? This pussy is practically a national monument around here and even the adults love it. I find this a double standard because when I went to purchase a new Ultraman MTR watch (it’s like a card to use for busses and subways, only the chip is in the watch instead of a card), I was told it was for kids. The expletives were colorful and many, only they produced nothing more than a confused look on the MTR staff member’s face. Good thing “for kid” and “fuck it” sound similar enough for him to think I agreed with him.
After settling for recharging my old MTR watch, we took off for Jusco! It’s the equivalent of K-Mart, only not. Found a few gifts for folks back home there, then we stopped for a leisurely lunch across the street in a mall food court. Pookie had a Vietnamese dish (thinly roasted pork), I had sliced breaded chicken with rice and a pork dressing (along with watermelon/kiwi juice, yum!) and the Grandmonster sipped on a vintage unsuspecting 22 year olds vein. Naturally, a meal can’t really be considered a meal if you don’t have dessert. Ever hear of a Bearded Papa? No, it’s not a leather daddy. Seriously, back hair? Not a turn on. A Bearded Papa is a delightful pastry puff with custard cream in the middle. A few places in the States have them with New York being the closest. I ordered a strawberry and blueberry papa whilst Pookie ordered the green tea one. Gross. Not as gross as back hair, but gross nonetheless.
We then took the subway back to Tsim Sha Tsui, walked around Ocean Terminal, found the new location of HMV, took a gander at their Blu-Ray releases, gasped at the ridiculously inflated prices, walked out of the store with nary a purchase (you have no idea the willpower involved not buying something), took the bus home, stopped by the store to pick up some Häagen-Dazs Macadamia Nut Ice Cream (sorry, folks, I gotta be honest here, it’s the shit!), had a bit of dinner and I’m not getting ready to take a shower and hit the sack (albeit with a few more sheets added). My stomach is still a bit on the queasy side. When the Grandmonster said we were having Chinese sausage for dinner, I didn’t think she meant from one of her recent kills. The weird thing is that it tastes just like chicken…
Until tomorrow, please remember that my birthday is coming up in 5 months and that Blu-Rays are a wonderful way to show your appreciation! Or, you know, buy one of my books.
Kage Alan is the Prometheus watching (and seriously disliking it), Jesus & Mary Chain listening author of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation,” “Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins” and the first book in a separate series, “Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell.” He’s finally having his first cup of tea this morning and contemplating scanning in a number of pictures he’s gotten out and recently rediscovered, especially one when he went totally blonde back in 2005. Hmm…might be something to do again.