Archive for November, 2012|Monthly archive page

These Over Those: Your Feminine Wiles Have No Effect On Me!

Thursday, November 29th, 2012

Do you remember a cartoon with a little boy and girl standing next to each other arguing? The boy thinks the girl should listen to him because he has ‘one of these’ and she comes back at him saying that her mother told her because she has ‘one of those,’ she can have all of ‘these’ she wants? Or some such thing. I remember seeing it (the cartoon) when I was growing up and wondering why by the power of Grayskull anybody would want one of ‘those’ when ‘these’ were so much more fun. Okay, the He-Man reference was a little after my time, but you get the idea. And then you grow up thinking that your main quest in life will be to get one of ‘those’ or as many of ‘those’ as you can. And they who possess ‘those’ are led to believe they possess great power over anybody with ‘these.’ Meh, we all bought into the lie.

Keeper of the Flame

Monday, November 26th, 2012

Keeper of the flame. It sounds important, doesn’t it? Sort of like making sure there’s always a flamethrower fueled, lit and aimed in the direction of the Grandmonster in case she bares her fangs during a visit. Well, that’s actually a bit silly. She’s so old that her skin is practically flame retardant. You need four flamethrowers to get her to notice any discomfort. No, I’m the keeper of the flame in a different way. Sort of an unwilling way. Mom is HUGE into family history. I’m not. Mom is HUGE into printing it all out and putting it into books. I’m not. Mom is HUGE into talking about it. I’m not. And I’m going to inherit it all. My thought is since I’m going to meet all these people one day anyway (hopefully), why not just hear about their lives directly from them?

And that’s not all I’m supposed to represent.

The Face of Gay 19 (Angel Martinez)

Saturday, November 24th, 2012

I originally wasn’t going to have a Face of Gay post this weekend. It was even a topic of conversation on my Facebook page because I honestly wanted to know if people thought they’d be around to read it. I just didn’t think it was fair to have someone write something up only to miss half the regular audience. However, we’re fluid here and after reading Angel’s post, I realized that this weekend isn’t just about strikes at Wal-Mart, moronic corporate executives at Target, or money.  It’s about family. At least in the US. It was about family in Canada last month. As for the UK…um…every day is Family Day.

Reading Angel’s post gives me hope. It gives me hope that love and understanding is still alive in families and that if the next generation follows the examples she and so many of you are setting, we’re going to be okay. What amazes me even more is that she (Angel) sent this to me because she felt compelled to write it without even knowing if it would be featured as one of these posts. It couldn’t be more perfect. So with that, I give you Angel Martinez’s Face of Gay.

Thanksgiving: Thanks for Giving and Would You Please Give It Again?

Thursday, November 22nd, 2012

In an effort for me to understand just what I should be thankful for during the holiday today, I decided to look up the word Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, all the books in the flat are either IT manuals or they’re written in half English, half Cantonese. So, I broke it down like any author worth his or her salt would to “thanks” and “giving.” Or “thanks for giving,” which is what I say to my husband when he visits. And that’s typically followed by a “Would you please give again?” And that’s typically followed by “What do you mean you’re too tired? I work, too. I cook for you. I clean for you. You’re telling me you can’t give a little more? It’s not like you do the work. You may be the top, but all you do is lay there while I do all the moving around and heavy lifting. Why are you giggling? Are you making a fat joke? Seriously? This is solid. There just happens to be more of it than you might find on someone…er…thinner.” And that’s about the time I realize he’s not going to be ‘giving’ me anything else that evening.

So what else am I thankful for?

What Doesn’t Kill Us Makes Us Mushy

Monday, November 19th, 2012

I’ve been a bit chattier than usual about my better half lately and pointing out some of the differences between us. I don’t do this to complain, but rather to try and understand him as I write through them. Differences are a healthy thing, especially in a relationship since most folks new to having them are under the assumption that you MUST have everything in common with each other, spend every waking moment with each other and become EVERYTHING to each other. Heck, I used to think the same thing and fell into that trap. When you do, it’s easy for friction to build up because there just isn’t any room left for the two of you to breathe. My hubby is different from me and I welcome that. And yes, I’m still talking about it. Strap yourself in. Or down. Totally up to you.

The Face of Gay 18 (Julie L. Hayes)

Saturday, November 17th, 2012

One of the things I’d hoped to accomplish with this blog series is establishing some common ground between the GLBT community and everyone else. It’s that whole “If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die? Wrong us, shall we not tell your friends and family just how badly you dress without our help?” I’m paraphrasing that last bit. The rest was made famous in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country. In any case, there have been several contributors who aren’t gay, but whose lives have been touched either by someone in the LGBT community or through their interaction with the community.

I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the stories coming in where someone who’s straight and a supporter of the community has had backs turned on them by family and friends because of it. It boggles me. Okay, I’ll be honest…it also annoys me. I’m sure it’s more annoying for them. And with that, welcome to author Julie L. Hayes’s Face of Gay.


The Recognition Admonition Explanation

Thursday, November 15th, 2012

Recognition is one of those oddities in life. Some people crave it, some people won’t give it, and some take it when it doesn’t belong to them. I’ve had jobs where my boss has taken credit for everything the staff has done, then not shared it, and I’ve had jobs where the boss has always made sure to give recognition where recognition was due. I’ve learned from them. Then there’s recognition as a person, as an author, and as a lover. That last bit is where my husband and I have a difference of opinion. I’ve always believed that when you’re sharing your life with someone as a partner and then a spouse, people should know. It should be celebrated! It should be recognized! It should… It should… Well, he disagrees.

Tales From Being Married To My Half Asian Husband

Monday, November 12th, 2012

Being a kept man has its advantages. I’m best if kept silent and fed (so I will remain silent) or so my husband says. “Kage should be occasionally be seen, but rarely heard.” Not to worry since it’s never deterred me unless we’re overseas. I don’t say much then, mostly because it makes people wonder if I’m understanding what they’re saying. It unnerves them and that tickles me. But this isn’t all about the glamour of making my husband look good. Oh, no. I study him. Why? Because he has a degree in psychology and if I’m not studying him, chances are he’s studying me. At least…that’s what he’s led me to believe. I honestly never know when he’s screwing with me.

The Face of Gay 17 (Rick Reed)

Saturday, November 10th, 2012

There are certain people you hear about, read about, interact with and hope to meet one day. Rick Reed is one of these people. For those of us in the publishing field, it’s difficult not to discuss authors who also happen to be a part of the GLBT community and not hear his name come up. And there’s a reason for this. If you’re not sure what that reason is…well, I’m not going to do your homework for you. You’re just going to have to check up on him yourself. I’d recommend you start here.

Welcome to Rick Reed’s Face of Gay.

Waking Up The Sleeping Giant: An Open Letter To Mitt Romney

Thursday, November 8th, 2012

Dear Mitt,

I suspect you’re still smarting from your loss to President Obama, so when you’ve had a little time with your family and are feeling up to it, come back to this letter. If you’re ready now, then I’d like to share something important with you. I want you to know why I didn’t vote for you. Don’t worry, I promise I won’t be snide or disrespectful and I won’t take any cheap shots. FOX news is already doing that on your behalf and I’m not fond of the idea of sinking to their level.

My friends will be the first to tell you that this was a one-issue election for me. I’ve said so myself, but when I sat back to think about it, it was perhaps three issues.