Archive for February, 2012|Monthly archive page

Let’s Get This Gay Marriage Planned: Pre-New York Part 1

Monday, February 27th, 2012

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. A self-professed extraordinarily intelligent half Asian stud and a self-deprecating smart ass author white guy fly to New York City, dress up in their best suits, and ask a Jewish Rabbi to marry them in a non-religious ceremony. You’ve heard it, right? Great. Okay, let me back up a little bit.

I’ve lost count of the number of weddings I’ve either attended or stood up in. They make me weepy, but that’s the romantic in me. I’m also a bit of a traditionalist and my parents–at least my mother–remembers me saving toys and vinyl records for when I got married and had children one day. It seems kinda silly when I think about it now, though, don’t you think? Dogs don’t really play with toys like I did and dogs are about the closest we’re ever going to get to having children. Fish don’t either and if you think they give me dirty looks now, just wait until I drop a Micronaut into the tank with them. But I digress. I’m here to share some thoughts and reflections about last week when Pookie and I tied the knot. Ready? Here we go…

Classic Blog Post: Read Em’ & Weep…With Delight!

Saturday, February 25th, 2012

Original Publication Date: 7/22/08

Привет всем!
That’s Russian for…something someone in Russia would say to someone else who might also be in Russia who’s also hopefully Russian so they’d understand the sentiment. Scary how my this steel trap of a mind I have works, isn’t it?

Right.  So, a couple of updates:


Classic Blog Post: Get A Load of This Dookie

Saturday, February 18th, 2012

Original Publication Date: 7/13/08

Hey Scoobie Gang!

So I’m in Chicago for another day trying to set a few things up for a potential signing, right? Well, I decide to get internet access for the hotel room so I can get a few e-mails out and also monitor if the books are on Amazon. They are and the cover art was added as of this morning. It’s alllllllll good news. Then, too, this is my life and I’ve come to expect the unexpected. Why? It just happens. There’s really no other explanation for it.


The Gweilo, The Witch & Her Grandson’s Wardrobe

Thursday, February 16th, 2012

Ancient Chinese prophesy foretells of a grand matriarch, a woman so devoted to her grandchildren that any potential suitor who doesn’t meet her expectations and challenges her authority, soon disappears under mysterious and unpleasant circumstances.  Her reign of terror is said to last nearly thirty years. Prophesy also foretells of a stranger from the West, a clueless-yet-well-meaning gweilo, whose affections for her grandson will tear at the very fabric of her universe.  And the ensuing battle—between the white guy and his boyfriend’s evil Grandmonster—is said to be one that will one day turn prophesy into legend.

Character Assassination…And Some People Think I’m A Pr*ck?

Monday, February 13th, 2012

I was watching An American President before bed one evening this past week and found myself wondering what it would actually be like if we had a president in office like the one Michael Douglass portrayed. Wouldn’t that be something to have someone who actually made decisions because they were the right thing to do, not the political thing to do? And as difficult as he was to watch, it was probably dead on accurate how Richard Dreyfuss’s character based his entire campaign on the matter of character when there really wasn’t one. It was invented, but it’s all about perception, isn’t it? The only reason I bring this up is because I recently found out someone took a shot at my father’s character and I’m not entirely comfortable with it.

Classic Blog Post: Book Is Released…Sort Of! Also, Tales of the Grandmonster

Saturday, February 11th, 2012

Original Publication Date: 7/09/08

‘allo everybody!

Yes, the evil from Hong Kong is amongst us.  More on her in a moment.

And now a word from our sponsor:
Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins is ready to be delivered from the printer!  There’s a tiny hitch with the cover for the reprint of A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation, so that won’t be ready until Friday (it’ll be added to Zumaya’s site at that point and will be showing up with “Andy Stevenson” on  Then, of course, both get sent to the publisher who then sends copies out to bookstores and anybody who pre-ordered.

And let’s face it, aside from your own personal library, these would make terrific birthday gifts, anniversary gifts, Christmas gifts, Valentine’s Day gifts, Sweetest Day gifts…circumcision gifts.  Trust me, you’re getting a lot for your money.  Heck, buy an extra copy and donate it to your local LGBT organization (Note: I said “extra” copy there…as in more than 1).  I swear, leaving all the brainstorming up to me is so unfair!

Now, let’s talk Grandmonster.


Uh, Right Ethnicity, Wrong Person…And Hoping For Closure

Thursday, February 9th, 2012

So I was at J.C. Penny last night after work where they were holding a pair of dress pants for me. The pair at their sister store the previous night was too short. Naturally, these were too long. But the suit jacket was my favorite, so I figured I could get the pants tailored. One thing I’ve learned when shopping for clothes is this, though: always get the opinion of the Asian in the relationship and if he’s not available, get someone else of Chinese ethnicity–since he’s half Chinese and trusts his fellow gay Chinese friends–to step in and offer his opinion. I did. A good friend of mine met me there to make sure my selection was acceptable. It was. The gentleman waiting on me knew the reason for the suit and when my friend showed up, looked at him and said “Congratulations!” While my friend’s response was a deadpan “What?”, my response was a bit more animated. “Uh, he’s not the one getting married. Right ethnicity, wrong person.” Good to know I have a back-up just in case my guy leaves me at the altar. The suit is currently being tailored and can be picked up in a week. Oy…

Don’t Steal One of the Gay Author’s Pictures on Facebook…He Doesn’t Like It

Monday, February 6th, 2012

I do some work for a company that pays very close attention to social media. I know, I know. Moi? Work? Pookie says if I’m not barefoot and pregnant at home, my supple ass has to get out there and earn us some money. Personally, I think I’d make a pretty awesome house husband. We’ll see. I’m working on it. Give me a few more months. Anyway, back to topic, the folks where I work and I are fairly well-versed in online etiquette…despite some of my posts and things I say that might suggest the contrary. But there are just some things you don’t do. And if you do happen to do them, there are things you don’t go and do after you’ve gone and done what you did! Are you following me? Good, because some of this gets a little complicated.

Classic Blog Post: Grandmonster Approaches! Shields Up, Charge Phasers, Arm Photon Torpedoes and Holy Water!

Saturday, February 4th, 2012

Original Publication Date: 6/25/08

Hey everyone!

Just a quick update tonight.  I’ve been wanting to blog for a week now, but between my Pookie coming home last weekend, preparing for the Grandmonster’s visit (yes, shields up, phasers charged, photon torpedoes armed, holy water in the squirt guns and crosses on the doors and walls!) and now I’ve got the galley for the reprint of the first book, I hast noeth timeth.


2012: A Mostly Brilliant Pookie Odyssey

Thursday, February 2nd, 2012

Did you know that my guy, my Pookie, my soon-to-be-hubby, is brilliant? See, I know this because he’s told many, many, many times. His Grandmonster even thinks he’s the Second Coming. I could make a really cheap sexual innuendo here, but you go ahead and make that connection for yourself. It’s probably accurate. Anyway, his brilliance was sitting next to me on the return trip from Hong Kong a few days ago and he selected 2001: A Space Odyssey on Delta’s video system to watch. It started and I soon caught him shaking his head out of the corner of my eye. I asked what was wrong and he said “I’ve tried to watch this movie on three different flights and it’s the same thing each time. The movie’s broke.” Huh? Sweetie, it’s the fanfare. Wait a few minutes and the MGM logo will come up. “Really?” It did. I guess I just enhance his brilliance.