I’ve been writing a bit lately about Alzheimer’s, family and some of my favorite b-films. Well, while I was looking to see if any sites out there might be interested in running a RSS feed of my blog posts–like Alltop–I realized that I do technically fit into the GLBT classification or category. After all, I am part of the GLBT community, so I don’t think pigeonholing myself too much. Maybe a little. But I also realized I haven’t really been mentioning anything specifically GLBT-related. Or, you know, made fun of anything and then relate it back to the community. So with today being July 4th, what better time to give it a shot and make fun of somebody? Ready? Here goes…
July 4th. It’s an American holiday and in honor of that, I’d like to offer a few comments about it in true revisionist history form, the way I think Sarah Palin would were she to give a speech on the subject.
“Thirteen shots were fired after moose hunting on July 4th in 1777 in Bristol, Rhode Island–who, incidentally, named themselves after my lovely daughter–when Paul Revere celebrated the anniversary of warning the British that we were going to whoop their uptight little bun-buns if they challenged us. And off they went, back home to their fish and chips overseas while the folks in Philadelphia made tea–American tea, not the stuff we poured into Boston Harbor–along with those little candy coated Boston Baked Beans we still love so much! Did you know that Boston Baked Beans are the choice of the Tea Party here in America today?”
Yeah, she doesn’t get it and I highly doubt she’d get what I’m about to bring up now. July 4th is about independence. It’s about revolution. I’m inclined to think about the issue of gay marriage as a form of revolution and independence. The end of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell is/was a form of independence and revolution, so marriage is the next logical step.
The truth is that I’ve always wanted to get married. We learn at a very early age that you go to school, grow up, go to college, get a job, get married, buy a house and eventually retire in Florida with the rest of the blue hairs. Those are our functions in life, like guys taking their shirts off at the beach, even ugly ones. It’s almost a part of our DNA. My guy and I had a conversation about marriage a couple of months after we started going out and we agreed to think of ourselves as married. It was as good as things were going to get.
But we weren’t married. Not in a traditional sense. And now we have actual gay marriage.
Some folks in the community have voiced their feelings on the matter and said that they don’t need the ties that bind from a traditional marriage in order to be married. And they’re right. But I’m right in wanting them, too. Couples who love each other in our society and every other one I’m familiar with get married. It’s a commitment that is recognized the world over for 2000+ years. It has meaning to everybody. Most important, it has meaning to me.
My guy and I been talking about marriage again lately, probably in part because of events in New York City and in part because of events between us in the last two months. Nothing bad, mind you. Nothing bad at all. In fact, we’re continuing to discover things about each other even after 16 years. It’s just that we’re getting older, hopefully a little wiser and our eyes are opening up a little more. We see each other and we see each others’ needs. He might not have as much of an internal drive to tie the knot in a traditional sense, but he respects mine and isn’t opposed to it. In fact, I think he’s looking forward to it.
I’m resigned to the fact it’s going to have to be out of state. I can live with that. And it won’t be anything like the gay marriage in Sex and the City 2. No Liza. Kylie and Lady Gaga? Maybe. Just something simple, maybe a hint of stylish and then a reception back home here in Michigan with family and friends. Is it the wedding we all dream about? No, but that’s why we have dreams. They help us shoot for what we think we want until we learn what it is we really want. Therein lies the difference. I don’t need a big wedding. I don’t need a big house. Heck, I don’t even need a house. But I do need him.
And if all goes well, we’ll see what happens next February on our anniversary. Of course, if California allows for gay marriage again, we’ll probably get hitched out there. New York City in February? Please…
Kage Alan is Confessions of A Shopaholic watching, Def Leppard listening author of “A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Sexual Orientation,” “Andy Stevenson Vs. the Lord of the Loins” and the first book in a separate series, “Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell.” He is looking forward to a week of sleeping next to his Pookie and coming home to him each night after work.