Archive for April, 2011|Monthly archive page

Classic Blog Post: Cancer, Strippers, Health Insurance & Me…Oh, My

Saturday, April 30th, 2011

Classic Blog Post: Cancer, Strippers, Health Insurance & Me…Oh, My
Original Publication Date: 2/12/07

I had dinner with friends late last week and “the question” finally managed to work its way around the table; how’s your life going?  Being that we all actually know each other, it’s not the kind of question that one can blow off in that way we all do when passing by somebody who could really give a shit less about the answer; “good, how’s yours?” It would be a lie.  Worse yet, it would be an obvious lie.  3 out of 4 of us was gay, so drama was expected.  It might even be a law.

The answers were as follows:
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OMG I Love You, Now Change! Meanwhile, the Lesbians…

Thursday, April 28th, 2011

One of my co-workers was telling me about his ultimate stalker.  He gets up in the morning, she’s there.  He goes home at night, she’s there.  When he goes out with his friends, she’s there.  He goes to sleep at night, she’s there.  He wants to watch TV, she’s there and she makes him watch Gossip Girl with her.  I reminded him that he married her, but it kinda went over his head.  Odd thing, relationships.  A recent Internet friend and I have been chatting about them and the undo pressures we tend to put on our loved ones in an effort to show them that they are the most important person in the entire world.  Ingrates.
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Move Over King Tut. It’s Time For The Kage Alan Curse!

Monday, April 25th, 2011

Naughty folks like myself are running out of places to work our trade.  No, no.  Wrong trade.  Not that authors who happen to be gay and feature gay characters in our books have had tremendous luck getting into mainstream bookstores, but still, there have been some.  Doesn’t it just figure, too, that the one Borders that carried my books, the same store I’ve signed at four times, is the one closest to Boystown in Chicago and they’re closing if they haven’t closed already?  Come to think of it, the majority of the stores I’ve signed at are gone.  It reminds me of when I came out.  Anybody I told within a few months ended up coming out, too, or had a relative who did.

This could be the Kage Alan Curse!
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Classic Blog Post: Living Proof That Gay Men Aren’t Always The Smartest

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

Classic Blog Post: Living Proof That Gay Men Aren’t Always The Smartest
Original Publication Date: 2/05/07

There’s a stereotype about gay men being one of the richest demographics and also the most intelligent.  The Religious Right would most likely argue that case now, but I’m here to tell you that it’s probably not true anyway.  I’m living proof.  Okay, follow me here…

Anybody familiar with the weather in Michigan over the past few days understands the concept of COLD.  Freezing, actually.  Total blue balls.  So, I gas up the car last Friday around 6:30pm because I don’t want my gas line to freeze.  Intelligent, right?  I thought so.  I also realized as I was filling the car up that the car wash, which had previously been broken several days prior, was working again.  Nobody else seemed to be aware of this.  Even more intelligent, right?  My car would be clean and there was no wait.

YES!!!
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Eeeeeevil Is Visiting Europe…And Snoregasms

Thursday, April 21st, 2011

It’s a bizarre thing when my Pookie goes out of town for a couple of days or even a couple of weeks.  I mean, not just out of town, but really “out of town.” Like…Europe out of town.  I won’t get to drive him mental by insisting on saying goodnight to him and I won’t get to hear his nonsensical voice when I wake him up each morning.  Yes, I wake him up every morning.  The man can sleep through three alarm clocks!  I’ve been there.  “I” wake up.  He continues to snore.  He may have even snored his way through an orgasm once.
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Taylor Lautner, Vienna, Madonna & the Banana Splits

Monday, April 18th, 2011

I was watching the latest Harry Potter Saturday night and a couple of friends e-mailed their surprise that I’d even give something like that the time of day.  They usually e-mail to tease me about many of the b-movies I enjoy, but Harry Potter?  If it’s any consolation, I’ve never ready any of the books (and I probably won’t either) and I’ve never gone to the theater to see them.  Twilight?  Yes.  That’s my guilty pleasure.  Who doesn’t get a little enjoyment out of watching Taylor Lautner walk around shirtless for two hours?  It occurred to me tonight, though, that maybe there are a couple of other things about me I might share that could potentially surprise people.
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Classic Blog Post: And Now…A Few Words About The Most Spectacular Man You May Never Have The Opportunity To Meet

Saturday, April 16th, 2011

Classic Blog Post: And Now…A Few Words About The Most Spectacular Man You May Never Have The Opportunity To Meet
Original Publication Date: 1/19/07

Let me get this little bit out of the way real fast: congratulations to the airline crew who escorted the family with the child throwing a tantrum off the plane that recently made the news!  Well done.
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And That’s Why We Make Faygo…

Thursday, April 14th, 2011

Okay, let me just say it.  CDs sound much, much clearer than anything else, but vinyl sounds authentic.  And the Star Wars figures I grew up with are much, much better than the ones they came up with for the second trilogy.  It seems like they made everything smaller in recent years, including the ships.  In this case, bigger is definitely better.  Heck, I’m sure I still have my anatomically correct large size Darth Vader in a box somewhere, too!  Fine.  I miss my pair of Zany Zappers.  There, I said that, too.
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When It All Goes Right Over A Weekend

Monday, April 11th, 2011

It’s amazing how someone can have a somewhat crappy week, go through the things they need to in order to get to the weekend only to have everything go right and then some.  It makes it all worthwhile, but at the same time, makes you crave the next weekend.  Ironically, my main career is the one I spend the least amount of time with and after a book signing like the one last Saturday in Ann Arbor, I do long for it.  Let me tell you what went unexpectedly right…
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Classic Blog Post: This Blog Now 40% Off!

Saturday, April 9th, 2011

Classic Blog Post: This Blog Now 40% Off!
Original Publication Date: 1/12/07

So…there’s this whole festive holiday season thing we just went through.  There were the inevitable gifts, surprises, jackass drivers, post-Christmas markdown sales for crap we paid full price for not expecting it would still be there afterwards and good cheer that are supposed to carry us through until the next holiday season.  Okay, so that leaves me a liiiiiiiiiiiittle confused.
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