Classic Blog Post: Vacation…Not Just A Song By the Go-Gos


Two weeks… That’s right. I had two weeks off from the ol’ hellhole known as “work” or “that place I go to pay the bills.” Now, don’t get me wrong. I love my co-workers. They’re a unique bunch, each with quirks that make being around them worthwhile, but sometimes it’s nice to get away from the place that shackles us.

So, what was a gay guy to do for two weeks? Chicago, baby! Caught a Paul Lekakis concert (he sang/still does sing “Boom Boom (Let’s Go Back To My Room)”), spent time with Ralph, watched him win four games with his volleyball team (a bunch of guys with the butchest team name EVER!), watched a bunch of DVDs I’d fallen behind on and cleaned up after my previously mentioned Ralph.

Flew home and enjoyed a game of Laser Tag with my friend Jenn-Jenn and we discovered that we make a terrific team. There we were…two grown adults…facing off against eight eleven-year-olds…and shooting the snot out of them. My ranking went from 38 to 29 that day!

Unfortunately, all good things…well, all good things go to shit when they end. If there’s any good news in this, it’s that I might go on my first cruise later this year. Sure, it means I’ll have to give up going to Hong Kong for the Chinese New Year and squaring off with Ralph’s grandmother again, but a cruise is a cruise! I’m told the cabin boys will do anything for a tip… Right, get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking about making them wait on me for a change. Like I’d tip or pay for sex. Sheesh. “I’M” the one who charges.

Kristoffer Gair (who formerly wrote under the pseudonym Kage Alan) is the Detroit-based author of Honor Unbound, A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To My Sexual Orientation, Andy Stevenson Vs. The Lord Of The Loins, Gaylias: Operation Thunderspell, several short stories featured in anthologies (to be combined in a forthcoming book), the novella Falling Awake (also to be re-published under his real name), and the upcoming Falling Awake II: Revenant.

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